40 Ficlets For The Slashfic 40 Table
by Dysnomia Hybris
Summary: A collection of ficlets, not all related, that feature PerryJD slash. The ratings will vary from chapter to chapter.
1. Claim

Title: Claim  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 01: Beginnings  
Word Count: 438  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: None  
Warnings: angst, language, slash  
Authors Notes: First in a mini series. Plaything and Break-Up follow.

The first time Dr. Cox kissed me, it was hard, rough, and demanding, almost a claim of ownership. But really, he didn't need to claim me, because I was already his. Had been for a while too, he just hadn't known it at the time. It was true though, I belonged to him already in heart and soul, all the kiss did was give my body to him as well.

There were only two small problems with me getting together with Dr. Cox. He had all of me, and all it seemed he was willing to give me was his body. Don't get me wrong, he has a great body, all muscle-y and hard, but I wanted more. All I'd get were quick gropes in closets, heated looks in the hallways, and if I was lucky, a drunken fuck that would end with him kicking me out of his apartment when he was finished. I learnt that the hard way when after our first time I found myself standing naked outside his door, clutching the clothes I'd caught as he'd thrown them at me.

The second problem was his absolute refusal to let me tell anybody about us, not even Turk, and I tell Turk everything. The one time I brought up telling people, boy did Dr. Cox let me have it. He ranted for what had to be at least twenty minutes, and some of the insults still make me blush if I think about it. So why do I stay? Why do I keep coming back for more when I know he's just going to toss me aside when someone better comes along? Because at some point I fell in love, and like an addict I keep coming back for more, even though I know it's not good for me.

Yet sometimes, mostly when I manage to get him to bring me back to his apartment to have sex, he'll whisper things. Mostly nonsense, but I swear sometimes I can hear the endearments, can almost be certain that the words he mutters into my stomach or back are 'I love you'. But that can't be right, and I have to keep telling myself that, so that I'm not so disappointed every time when he contradicts my suspicions by throwing me out.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to stand this 'almost relationship' that we have. I try not to think about it too much, since actually thinking about the way Dr. Cox treats me hurts. I don't know how much more I can take of being stuck between having a relationship, and being nothing more then a plaything to him.


	2. Plaything

Title: Plaything  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 02: Middles  
Word Count: 372  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: None  
Warnings: angst, slash  
Authors Notes: Second in a mini series. Follows Claim and is before Break-Up

It's been happening more often recently. Almost guaranteed once a day at the very least, Dr. Cox pulls me into a supply closet or yanks me through the door to the on-call room, to do naughty things that shouldn't be happening in a hospital. It's almost a nightly occurrence that I end up in his apartment, on my hands and knees or flat on my back. After six months he still won't let me stay the night. It's still just 'wham-bam-thank ya Newbie, see you tomorrow.'

I'm going to admit, I really do enjoy the sex, but what I like more then anything, are the times when he kisses me. The kisses are few and far between, probably because he thinks it's too intimate a gesture for what he uses me for. I've come to the conclusion that he really does just use me for sex, since Jordan won't touch him anymore, and his attitude toward other people is so horrible that he turns off any potential girlfriends. So he settles for me, because he knows that I won't say no, that I can't say no to him. It's getting harder to deal with though, harder to handle the rejection day after day. I used to try to touch him in public, try to hold his hand or give him a kiss, but not anymore. I don't bother trying, knowing all he'll do is slap my hands away and glare at me until I give up.

The last time he dragged me into the closet I was glad that he left first, that he left me alone in there, and glad that it was dark. Glad that he took my shaking body as a result of the orgasm I'd just had. Which was probably a part of it. I was glad for once that he won't kiss me, 'cause otherwise he would have felt the tears as they ran down my cheeks.

That's it, I can't keep going on like this. I've got to confront him, find out if he's ever going to really want me for me, not just for release. And I have to do it soon, because my emotions are starting to get out of control.


	3. BreakUp

Title: Break-Up  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 03: Ends  
Word Count: 363  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: None  
Warnings: angst, slash  
Authors Notes: Third in a mini series. Follows Claim and Plaything.

It took me three days to finally get the courage to talk to Dr. Cox. During those three days I tried to savor our moments together, tried to gather as many memories as I could before the end, so I'd have something to look back on and appreciate. Because I knew, when I asked him if he wanted an actual relationship from me, if I used the word boyfriend, things were going to go badly.

And whoo boy was I right. As soon as I started that conversation, he went all red in the face, the vein in his temple started to throb, and I swear he swiped his thumb across the side of his nose enough times that it was now thinner then the other side. I don't really want to go through everything he said, but believe me when I tell you that some of the things he said are going to hurt to think about for a long time still. I can't really remember the night that followed. All I know is that I got my first real introduction to the world of hard liquor, I cried a lot, and woke up in the morning with what had to have been the worst hangover I've ever had.

So now I'm alone again, and I'm not sure if I really am better off then when I was being used as a toy. Because now I know what it was actually like to be with Perry Cox, and now my fantasies are never going to be as good, as satisfying, as the real thing. But I'm going to have to get use to it, because I do know it isn't good for me to let him treat me this way ever again. That's why I've gone to Kelso. That's why after four years of working at Sacred Heart, I asked Kelso for a transfer, and at this point I don't even care where I end up. As long as it was far away from the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. Far away from the man that would never have loved me in the way I wanted him to.


	4. Growing On Me

Title: Growing On Me  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 18: Denial  
Word Count: 800  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: none  
Warnings: language, slash, angst  
Author's Notes: Fourth in a mini series. Follows Claim, Plaything, and Break-Up.

The first time I kissed Newbie, I might have been a little rough. Jordan had finally said goodbye for good a couple of weeks ago, so I was frustrated, and took my anger out on the kid. But I didn't expect it to feel so good, didn't expect to like the feeling of his lithe body pressed against me, so I went farther then I'd wanted to. The original plan was to use him once for relief, expel all my pent up anger and want, and then continue on like nothing had ever happened between us.

Call me weak if you want, but I couldn't do it, I couldn't give up on the chance of having his body again, the chance to have all of it, not just the grope in the supply closet that we'd had. I couldn't do it unassisted though, so I got drunk first, and then dragged the kid back to my apartment. It was easy too, maybe a little too easy, to convince Newbie to let me fuck him. It took almost no effort to get him beneath me, legs spread wide, his body open and willing, ready for me to take him. It was at the end of the night when I found out why it was so easy to get him into bed. I don't think he realized that he said it, but when he came, he gasped out that he loved me. I freaked out at that point, and kicked him out, bare-assed and everything, tossing his clothes out after him before slamming the door in his face.

I had every intent at that point to never touch him again, but memories of that night kept replaying over and over again in my head. And honestly, I'd already pretty much known that he'd had some sort of feelings for me, I just didn't know how strong they really were. So I decided to work around that tidbit of information, ignore the fact that he'd said it at all, continuing to drag him into supply closets, send him looks in the hallway just to watch him go red, and when I had the drunken courage, bring him back to my place.

When he brought up telling people, I refused to allow it. I didn't want anyone knowing what was going on between the two of us. Not because I was ashamed of him, because I wasn't, oddly enough I'd started to take a liking to Newbie, maybe even more then a liking to him. He was starting to grow on me. I didn't want anyone to know because then I wouldn't have him all to myself anymore, wouldn't have that secret holding us together. Once other people knew they would try to talk some sense into the kid, try to convince Newbie that I wasn't any good for him, that I would only hurt him in the end. Which was probably true, since I couldn't even admit to him to his face that I had fallen for him. The closest I could get was mumbling into his skin while we were having sex, making the words indistinguishable.

I didn't let him know because that would make it too real. If we were just having sex then at least I could still try to cling on to my image of a hetero guy, of the macho man I show the world. If I were to tell JD that I'm finding it harder and harder to make it through the day without some form of contact with him, that I can barely muster up a glare when he tries to touch me in public, then I would no longer be the man that I strove so hard to create. And that's why I don't kiss him, or let him stay throughout the night. Because as soon as I kiss him all I want to do is throw that image of me out the window, and tell the world that this man is who I want to be taking home with me at the end of the day. I know I've been basically treating him like a whore, but I can't risk letting him get any closer to me.

I was hoping that eventually, since all I was giving Newbie was sex, that the sex was going to be good enough for him, that his feelings for me weren't going to cause a problem. I can tell though that something has been bothering him lately, and I've got a bad feeling about what's going to happen when he finally blurts out what's wrong. When I pulled him into the closet earlier, he was shaking, and I'm not totally convinced it was from an orgasm. If he's going to confront me about 'us', then things are going to go badly, because I'm not ready to admit that I'm in love with him. Even if I think I am.


	5. Realizations

Title: Realizations  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 19: Acceptance  
Word Count: 555  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: none  
Warnings: language, slash, angst  
Author's Notes: Fifth in a mini series. Follows Claim, Plaything, Break-Up, and Growing On Me.

For three days after that time in the closet it was Newbie who would actually bring me into the supply closet, him who initiated nearly all sexual encounters. For the last six months not once do I remember him being the one to start something, it was always me, it was always my needs first. That was when I knew for sure that something was definitely up, that the shit was about to hit the fan, and I was about to lose the one good thing I had going for me.

I was right too. It looked like he'd finally mustered up the courage to confront me about the relationship between us and what I really wanted from him. At first I thought I was going to be able to wiggle my way out of this, say some of the things he wanted to hear and hope that was all he needed. Of course I didn't even manage to say anything nice at all. I managed to stay calm during the first few sentences, but as soon as he used to word boyfriend, I lost it.

I couldn't even form coherent words for the first minute or so, I just know I went all red and swiped at my nose. When I finally did do more then just stand there with my mouth hanging open, I wished I hadn't been able to speak yet. I said some pretty horrible things to him, even by my standards. But the words just came spilling out of my mouth, without my permission. It was almost like I stood there as a spectator, watching myself ruin any chance I might have still had with the kid.

He looked horrible by the time I was done yelling at him. He was pale, entire body trembling slightly, and his eyes were wide and glassy. It looked like he was about to cry, and for once I wouldn't have called him a girl if he did. I didn't stick around to see if he did or not, I had to get away, had to get away before I found myself apologizing, begging him to forgive me, anything so that he wouldn't look at me like that anymore. So I left, pawned my patients off on Barbie and fled the hospital for the safety of my apartment.

I had to call in sick the next day since I apparently tried to see just how much I had to drink before chancing alcohol poisoning. But when I came in the day after that it was to one of the biggest shocks of my life. Bobbo let me know that JD had put in for an immediate transfer. It was that moment, when I realized that I was actually going to lose JD forever that I made my decision. To Hell with my image. For once in my life I was going to do something that would make me happy, no matter the consequences. I managed to get Kelso to hold off on okaying JD's transfer. I now owe him a huge favor, and I'm not sure, but I think Beelzebob now owns my soul. But it'll be worth it. If the kid's feelings are that strong for me, it'll be worth my soul and so much more for the chance to get him back.


	6. Confessions

Title: Confessions  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 16: Truth  
Word Count: 834  
Rating: R  
Warnings: slash, angst, language, fluff  
Spoilers: none  
Author's Notes: Sixth in a mini series. Follows Claim, Plaything, Break-Up, Growing On Me, and Realizations.

My mind was made up, I had to find JD and stop him from leaving. That was turning out to be harder then I expected. He wasn't at the hospital and Gandhi, Carla, and Barbie were refusing to tell me anything. No amount of threatening and yelling would get even Barbie to crack, although I think I did manage to send her into the supply closet to have a cry. I knew that all three of them knew where he was, there was just no way in Hell that they were going to give up that information. I looked for him everywhere, at every place I could remember him ever mentioning, and even some that he hadn't. But I wasn't having any luck. I was near desperate enough to forgo the threatening and start begging Carla to let me know. I wasn't about to do that face to face though, so I went home to phone her from there, where she wouldn't be able to see me, and better yet I wouldn't have to see the look on her face as I was reduced to begging.

I was saved from lowering myself by what greeted me when I got through the door. JD was seated on the sofa, and he looked up when I entered, but quickly looked away again before our eyes could meet. I'd completely forgotten that I'd given him a spare key a couple of months ago. I'm ashamed to admit that the only reason I gave him a key was so he could let himself out after sex, so I didn't have to bother getting up. I didn't know why he was there. After everything I said to him I wouldn't have been surprised at all if he left without saying goodbye. And that was what he was there to do, it had to have been, since JD believed that Kelso had approved his transfer.

I didn't give him the chance to say anything though. Before he could do more then open his mouth I cut him off. I let everything out, everything I should have said two days ago. And I found, that once I started, the words came easy, actually coming out the way I intended. I started with an apology, making it sound as sincere as I could, hoping it didn't sound forced. Then, as cute-sy and stupid as it might sound, I just let my emotions go, the feelings flowing out, letting JD know just what I've been really thinking lately. It took me until right at the end of my little speech to be able to spit out the 'I love you.'

And then I just stood back and watched, waiting to see how Newbie was going to react. I'd been keeping a close eye on him as I'd talked, watching as his eyes got wider and wider, the disbelief warring with the hope. I couldn't tell which one finally won because he turned away again, his back facing me. After a moment I noticed that his shoulders were shaking. I spun him back around, keeping my hand on his shoulder. This time I got to see him cry, and judging by the spike of guilt that went through my gut at the sight, I could do with never seeing that again. The fact that he didn't shrug my hand off gave me hope, that he might yet give me another chance.

And he did too, after nearly a half an hour of being screamed at and after the punch in the face that I really did deserve. And it actually fucking hurt too. I was expecting JD to hit me, but more of a girly slap then an actual fist to my face. I think I'm going to have a black eye. It's worth it though, he might not totally forgive and trust me again yet, but he said he was willing to take another chance. I'm kinda surprised by just how happy that makes me feel, I've even got those ooey-gooey feelings I always mock other people for.

The make-up sex with Jordan was never this good. It was hot and sweaty, our bodies moving together, him being rougher then usual in his anger. At first I thought I killed the kid, since he blacked out when he came. He's still passed out across my chest, his breathing having finally slowed down and settled into the rhythm of sleep. I wrapped my arms around him, not ready to let him go yet.

I was going to have to be careful about what I let my mouth spout off with for awhile, take baby steps to earn JD back completely. But the hard work will be more then worth it if he's already making me feel this good with the relationship just starting. It was going to take some getting used to before I could say the word boyfriend without it sounding weird. But for his sake I'll make myself get used to it.


	7. Resolutions

Title: Resolutions  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 22: Lovers  
Word Count: 1315  
Rating: R  
Warnings: slash, angst, language, fluff  
Author's Notes: Seventh and last in a mini series. Follows Claim, Plaything, Break-Up, Growing On Me, Realizations, and Confessions.

I couldn't go back to work after asking Kelso for a transfer. By now I'm sure Laverne had got wind of that little fact and was spreading it around the hospital. I couldn't go there and face everyone, and lie to them when they inevitably asked why I was leaving. So I stayed home, but I couldn't even do that for too long. I ended up pacing the living room again and again, back and forth, until Turk and Carla finally asked me what was wrong. I caved, spilled my guts about everything that had happened with Dr. Cox for the last six months. They were both pissed, and I had to convince them both to not go after Dr. Cox and yell or hurt him. Turk promised to take me out drinking later tonight, since he and Carla both had to work.

When they left I was alone again, sitting in the apartment trying not to think. It wasn't working though, all I was doing was thinking, and it wasn't doing me any good. I had to get out of there, go anywhere, I didn't care where, as long as it was out. I grabbed my jacket on the way out, and then spent the next couple of hours walking around aimlessly. It had been cloudy and dark all morning, and it finally started to rain, more like pour. I still didn't stop or go inside, even if I was starting to get cold, the wind chilling my wet body. The rain was fitting though, matching my mood perfectly. 

When I stuffed my hands in my pockets, trying to warm them up, my right hand bumped into something metal, which could only have been a key. I frowned, because I was sure that I'd pocketed my apartment keys in my jeans, plus this was only one, and I've got three keys on my ring. Pulling it out and taking a look caused a sharp burst of pain to shoot through my chest. Now I remembered where this came from. The gold key was the one that Perry had given me a couple of months ago. It was for the door to his apartment. I'd been so happy when he'd first shown me the key, thinking it meant that I'd made some progress with him, that he was giving me access to this part of his life. But he handed me the key with rules attached. I was not to use it to enter his apartment without his permission, in fact the only time he said I could use it was to let myself out at night. That had stung. Instead of being a step forward it was more of a step back, because it showed me that I wasn't even important enough to him to be shown to the door after having sex.

I guess the signs had been there all along, I just hadn't wanted to believe that I was only being used. I made up my mind then, there was one more thing I needed to do before I left. I was determined to talk to Perry one last time, to give him a piece of my mind. Realizing I was close to his apartment I changed direction, heading over to his building. I let myself in and spent the next couple of hours sitting on his couch, tapping my foot nervously.

Two hours later I'd nearly lost my nerve and was seriously contemplating leaving when the door opened. My heart leapt up into my throat when I glanced up at him. I looked away before our eyes could meet. I don't think I could have said anything if I'd looked at him. I was ready to let loose, to give him shit, but he didn't give me the chance. He cut me off first, talking quietly but quickly, he started confessing. As I listened to him, I'm sure you could have pushed me over with one finger, I was so stunned.

He was actually apologizing to me, the great Perry Cox was actually begging me for forgiveness, and it sounded sincere too. It was what he said after though that stunned me the most. I've never heard so much emotion come from that man. In the span of five minutes he said more about his feelings then I've heard in the past four years. I almost fell down when he told me he loved me, my knees turned to jelly and felt weak. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, he can't really mean all of this, it contradicted everything he said to me two days ago. But I'm looking at him, at the hopeful expression on his face, and it hits me. He's telling me the truth. What he's saying right here, right now, is what he really feels for me.

I turned around then, when the tears started to well, because I didn't want Perry to see me crying like a little girl. I couldn't help it though, couldn't have stopped even if I'd tried. His hand landed on my shoulder, and my eyes closed reflexively. Even after only two days I'd missed the feeling of his large warm hands on my body.

He spun me back around to face him, asking if I'd give him another chance. Of course I was going to say yes, but first I still wanted him to know how much grief he'd caused me. So I let him have it. Let him know just how much pain he caused me, not only for the other day but for the last six months, during our farce of a relationship. I ranted and raved, pretty sure that if any of his neighbors were home they could hear every word I was yelling. I don't think he'd known just how much he'd hurt me in the last half year, judging by the surprise in his expression. And that made me even angrier, and before I knew what I was really doing, all my pent up anger went into the fist I slammed into Dr. Cox's face. I was kinda disappointed because I'd hit him as hard as I could and all it did was make him stumble back a couple of steps. Although seeing how fast the area around his eye was getting red it was definitely going to bruise, and I took immense satisfaction in that fact.

Wanting to see if he really meant that he wanted a relationship with me, since he'd even used the word boyfriend, I all but leapt on him. I threw my arms around him in a hug, pressing our bodies together, at the same time I kissed him, putting all my love into the kiss. And he didn't pull away. If anything he pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. That cinched the deal, I knew for sure that he really did care for me. I might not completely trust and forgive him yet, but I think we're on the right track.

I definitely need to pick more fights with him if the make up sex is going to be this good. More fights or he just has to get me angry more often, since that's what made me be a little wilder then usual in bed. I'm pretty sure those bite marks I left on Perry's chest are going to bruise and be there for a while. I think I might have even passed out for a bit, since I came back to myself once I was already lying on his chest. I didn't stay awake for long though, all the emotional displays of the last couple of days tired me out. But it'll all be worth it in the end, I'm sure me and Perry are going to last, and that he won't actually turn out to be the biggest mistake of my life after all.


	8. Getting To Know Him

Title: Getting To Know Him  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: Smile  
Word Count: 409  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: none really  
Author's Notes: A stand alone, not connected to any of my ficlets.

It's amazing how that kid can continue to smile no matter how much crap I throw at him. No matter how many insults I give him, how many girls names I call him, how often I voice my denial of being his mentor, he just keeps on smiling.

At first, I thought he was only an idiot, that's why he put up with the way I treated him. After the first slew of names and insults I thought for sure that that was it, he'd want nothing more to do with me. I will admit that I was wrong, he kept coming back to try and get my advice. But his reluctance to give up on being my protégé was only confirming my theory that he was an idiot.

After a while though, no matter how much I shuddered at the thought, I got to know Newbie better. After finding out about his father, if you could even call what that man did being a father, it explained to me Newbie's relentless pursuit of a male role model. It explained why he kept coming back again and again, no matter how many times I tried to push him away.

The other thing I found out about him is that he won't give up once he sets his mind on something. Probably why he was so determined to gain my approval. Like a pit-bull he was going to latch on and not let go until the issue was dead. So he kept smiling, and I'm going to tell you something, and if you repeat one word of it to anybody, I will not only kill you but I will do it in such a gruesome, bloody way that you'll want to die long before I actually do allow you to croak. I've come to enjoy the times Newbie smiles, and I enjoy them even more when I'm the one who puts them there.

There was this one time, one time when the smile was bigger and brighter then any other time I've seen it. His smile was so wide I could have counted almost all his teeth, his eyes were bright, and he was nearly glowing with happiness. I take pride in the fact that it was me who made him grin like that. Do you want to know what I did? I kissed him. And I can tell you that I had a matching smile on my own face.


	9. Alarm Clock Alternative

Title: Alarm Clock Alternative  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 17: Wake Up  
Word Count: 299  
Rating: R  
Spoilers: none

Perry woke in the morning to the feeling of a warm, wet mouth surrounding his cock. His eyes snapped open as he became fully awake. In the light streaming in through the window he was able to see the bulge in the blankets above his crotch. He shifted slightly, just enough to push his erection further into the mouth on him, as well as adjusting his legs to a more comfortable position. Moving must have alerted his lover to the fact that he was now awake, because the sucking started in earnest.

Letting out a low moan, Perry's fingers dug into the mattress. A hand was added to the mouth on him, stroking whatever wouldn't fit in the mouth slowly, bringing him closer to orgasm. A tongue swiping over the head of his cock, at the same as a strong upwards stoke pushed Perry over the edge. He came with a shudder, spilling into an eager mouth.

He collapsed back into the pillows, panting, trying to regain his composure, even as a talented tongue continued to lick him clean. Lifting up the blanket, Perry peered under it, taking in the glowing blue eyes and mussed back hair of his lover. Once he caught his breath he managed to choke out, "That has got to be the best wake up call I've ever had. Way better then the alarm clock, maybe you should do this every day."

A cheeky grin and a giggle were his only answer. Reaching down, Perry tugged the young man up to meet him for a kiss, feeling his lover's erection pressing into his side. "Although, if this is how you're going to wake me up every morning, you might just want to start earlier, because now we're just going to have to be late Newbie."


	10. Putting The Pieces Together

Title: Putting The Pieces Together  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 09: Puzzle  
Word Count: 269  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: none really

After so many years of working with Dr. Cox, JD was still no closer to figuring the man out then he had been on day one. It was difficult, trying to work out the way the older man ticked, trying to piece together all the qualities and quirks that made him the way he was. Because it seemed that any time JD thought he had something figured out, Dr. Cox would do something completely opposite of what was expected, bringing him back to square one.

It was like he was trying to piece together a jigsaw puzzle. And like a jigsaw puzzle, JD'd started with the border, getting the basics about Dr. Cox, the parts of the man everyone had access to. Filling in the inside of the puzzle, to get the whole picture, was turning out to be harder then expected. It was almost like the picture kept changing, or he was doing this puzzle without knowing what it was supposed to look like.

But he knew the payoff would be worth the hassle of doing all this work. The satisfaction of knowing he'd managed to work out the puzzle that was Perry Cox would be all he'd need. He was getting closer to the end now, he had almost all the pieces he needed. JD was ready to take the chance that he was one of the missing pieces. He was hoping that the two of them together would give him those last couple of pieces to complete the puzzle, because he was looking forward to seeing what the final picture would look like in the end.


	11. Unvoiced Feelings

Title: Unvoiced Feelings  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 31: Quiet  
Word Count: 278  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: none really

Perry appreciated the times when JD actually managed to be silent for more then five minutes. While it was true that he'd known what he was getting himself into when he started seeing JD, realizing that kid rarely ever shut up, a small part of him had hoped that he'd be able to break his nervous chatting problem. After a while though, Perry'd come to realize that the talking really was one of the things he liked about Newbie, and that he didn't want to stop hearing the kid's voice.

Still, the moments when he was quiet were some of their best times together. Sitting on the couch together, JD's head pillowed in his lap. Watching some movie or other. The mornings they spent at the kitchen table, Perry reading the paper and JD reading the comics. Those were the comfortable silences, where even unspoken, the enjoyment of each other's company was evident.

Perry's favorite moment of quiet however, had to be the times when they made love slowly, gently, when JD didn't end up screaming his pleasure. It was during those moments, when he'd stare into brilliant blue eyes, hands locked, bodies pressed together and joined, when he could really tell JD how he felt. It was better then trying to force out words of love, his actions spoke for him, letting the kid know everything that he couldn't actually say out loud. And he knew JD understood, heard what he was trying to tell him, in his own way. It was these unspoken moments between the two of them that had Perry firmly believing he'd done the right thing starting a relationship with the other man.


	12. Accidental Incentive

Title: Accidental Incentive  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 07: Hug  
Word Count: 2144  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: angst  
Spoilers: none

It was during one of Dr. Cox's soap opera breaks that his pager inevitably went off, no longer then thirty seconds after he'd first planted his butt on the couch. Growling, he near ripped the device off his pants in his anger, preparing to go find and verbally dismember whoever dared bother him. The page was from Carla, the message not immediately making sense to him. 'Bambi. Emergency.' All his rage dissipated at the message staring him in the face, a tight knot of dread settling into his stomach. Newbie left the hospital over an hour ago, once his shift was over; there was no reason why he should be down in the emergency room, unless he was the cause of the emergency.

He made the trip down to emergency in record time, and nearly ran Carla over in his haste to find JD. Perry managed to grab hold of her arms before she fell, but nearly let her go again when he caught a glimpse of her face. She'd been crying recently, her cheeks were dry right now, but her lashes were still wet with tears, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy. He frowned, worry taking over despite his wishes. "Carla, what's wrong?"

"It's Bambi. When he was going home some guy in a car hit JD's scooter. They just brought him in about forty minutes ago. I don't know if he's okay or not, he was unconscious when he came in. I couldn't stay in the room; I couldn't see him as they worked on him. And I haven't been able to force myself to go see him now that they're done. I don't even have the courage to ask one of the other nurses if he's going to be fine." Her voice hitched at the end, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks.

Knowing he should be staying to comfort her, but needing to see Newbie, he hesitated for only a moment before asking, "Where…?"

"Fifth door down the hall."

Perry started to turn away, but hesitated again, looking at Carla's drawn features. She waved him off, giving him a shove in the right direction. "Go see him, I've already called Turk, he should be here any minute. Besides, Bambi needs you more then I do right now."

That was all the urging he needed. He all but flew down the hallway, counting doors as he passed. He came to a complete stop in front of the door leading into the correct room. Perry took a deep breath, hand poised over the handle, steeling himself for whatever he was about to see. Pushing the door open his eyes immediately moved to the figure lying still on the bed.

Perry winced when he got his first look at the kid. A stark white bandage was wrapped around his head, and various other bandages decorated his arms and chest. The bits of skin that were visible above the blankets were mottled with bruises, cuts, and scrapes. While JD's arms and chest looked bad, it was the kid's face that seemed to be the worst. The skin that was able to be seen through the mess that was his face was pale, almost as white as the sheets he was laying on. The left side of his face was nearly one large, ugly looking bruise, that started at his eye and finished just above his chin. And running right through that bruise was a nasty looking cut, which even though it looked bad, wasn't deep enough to actually scar permanently when healed, though there would be a mark there for a while.

Dr. Cox moved quietly to the end of the bed, picking up Newbie's chart. He didn't open it right away, a part of him not wanting to find out if the kid was worse off then he looked. Perry slapped himself mentally, realizing just how much of a wimp he was being. He flipped the chart open, reading through it quickly. Relief swept through his body at the information presented to him. Newbie was going to be fine. There were no internal injuries, just a lot of superficial cuts and scrapes, the bruising, and a bump to the head, but not even a concussion. A weight he hadn't even known was there lifted then, the knots in his stomach loosening.

Replacing the chart at the foot of the bed, Perry eyed the chair in the corner, debating whether he wanted to stay or not. Finally he came to the decision that even though he wanted nothing more then to sit there until Newbie opened his eyes, he was, technically, still on shift and should really be getting back to work. So he turned around and reluctantly left the room, stopping at the nurse's desk first to leave orders that he was to be paged as soon as Newbie wakes up.

On his way back upstairs, he took a look for Carla, figuring he might as well tell her the kid was going to live. He couldn't find her though, and it wasn't until he asked Laverne that he found out her shift had been over for half an hour already. She must have stayed when she heard about Newbie being brought in.

Dr. Cox immersed himself in work to try to distract himself, because every time he had a free moment, his thoughts would drift to the young man lying unconscious downstairs. He didn't know when the other doctor had managed to wiggle his way into his heart, when he'd become so important to him. Somehow the kid had made him care about him, to the point where he'd been nearly consumed by fear when he'd found out he was hurt. JD had managed to get him to care about him, maybe even more then care about him, if Perry was honest with himself.

Nearly three hours went by before his pager went off once again. Glancing down at it his chest tightened. Newbie was awake. The hospital was slow enough, his patients all stable enough, that he'd be able to slip away to go see the kid without anyone even noticing he was gone. Abandoning the chart in his hands on the nurse's station, he made his way back to emergency, rushing, but still trying to look casual to everyone he passed.

He stopped in front of the door, indecision hitting him yet again. There was light coming from underneath the door, so the kid was definitely awake, and that's what made him stop. It was different now, going into the room when he was out cold was a lot easier then when those wide blue eyes would be staring at him, asking him what he was doing here. Could he admit to the younger man that he'd been worried about him? That Carla's page had left him panic stricken and that unease still hadn't abated fully? Maybe it was time to let Newbie know that he doesn't have to keep trying so hard for his approval, because he's already got it. Approval, and so much more.

He pushed the door open with just the slightest amount of trepidation, not sure what he was going to say. Perry's eyes widened a bit when he entered. Not only was JD awake, but he was out of bed too, struggling to pull a shirt over his battered frame, the fabric bunched up around his head, covering his eyes. Perry could see just how much effort it was taking, his movements were slow, body shaking slightly from the pain of protesting muscles. His fingers twitched, wanting to go over there and help the kid out, but he wasn't sure if the action would be appreciated or not. During his experience as a doctor he'd come to learn that sometimes people didn't want help, didn't want to feel like they couldn't take care of themselves, and only got angry when you did something without them asking first.

JD finally managed to get the shirt on properly. He jerked in surprise when he noticed Dr. Cox. "Dr. Cox! When did you get here? How did you know I was here?"

Perry snapped himself out of the daze seeing all those bruises on his protégé's body had left him in, wishing he could erase the sight from his memory. It was obvious they were still hurting him, even with the painkillers he must have been on. "Carla paged me. And you don't have to worry, I only got here a minute ago, so I didn't get to see anything other then your pathetic attempt to pull a shirt over your too big hair, your honor is still intact."

JD blushed, that wasn't quite what he'd been talking about, but since Dr. Cox mentioned it, he was pretty grateful he didn't show up a few minutes earlier, for the show that pulling on his pants would have provided. He stayed quiet, not wanting to insult Dr. Cox by asking why he was there, besides, this way he could imagine he was here out of real concern for him, not just as a colleague. But Dr. Cox wasn't saying anything, and the longer the older man just stared at him, the more uncomfortable JD got, until he was all but squirming under the gaze.

Finally, Perry realized he was staring and shook himself, asking the questions that he wanted answered. "The guy that hit you, did he stick around? How bad was it?"

JD nearly sighed with relief, glad Dr. Cox had asked him questions, needing the distraction to take away from the awkward silence. "The guy disappeared. I remember he stopped for a moment, just long enough to realize what it was that he'd really hit, and then he took off again. I'm pretty sure Sasha's a wreck, but it wasn't that bad, it could have been worse." At Dr. Cox's raised eyebrows and pointed look at all the bandages and bruises JD added, "Really, It would have been a lot worse if I hadn't been wearing my hairmet."

Perry shook his head incredulously, disbelief evident on his face. "You mean to tell me that that thing is what saved your life?"

JD nodded, but regretted the movement as pain shot through his head. The helmet may have saved his life but he'd still taken a rather hard blow to the head, the headache was really starting to blossom now. A moment later JD was wondering if maybe he actually had died when that car had hit him, and everything after that was only a dream. Because the next thing he knew he was being wrapped up in Dr. Cox's arms, the older man gently pulling him against his body, arms tightening fractionally, careful not to squeeze too hard. He was actually getting his hug.

Perry didn't know what came over him, couldn't explain the sudden urge, the absolute need, to hold the boy against him, to see for himself that he really was there and alive, if only a little battered. And when JD's arms hesitantly wrapped around his back in response, the last of his unease slipped away, everything was good again, about to change irreversibly, but hopefully for the better. JD's head was resting on his shoulder, and Perry leaned in close, his lips almost brushing his ear. "Don't ever scare me like that again Newbie. I can't take news like this ever again. Promise me."

JD's breath hitched, not sure if he was interpreting things right. Hardly daring to hope, he whispered back, "I promise."

Then his head was being tilted up, and he was looking into eyes that were normally distant and full of annoyance. But not right now, right now they were warm, inviting, and filled with affection. JD didn't get much time to think about Perry's eyes, because in the next moment his lips were captured in a soft kiss. It was more of an exploratory kiss, Perry was testing to see how he'd respond. He kissed back without any further thoughts, JD'd waited too long for this to let this chance pass.

He might have been a little too enthusiastic though, he swayed slightly on the spot, glad that Perry was holding him otherwise he would have fallen. The older man looked taken aback, and slightly guilty as he felt the kid stagger. He pulled away slightly, bringing one hand up to stroke an unbruised spot on his cheek. "You're going to be the death of me aren't you?" He shook his head, smiling, "But what a way to go, if that kiss was anything to go by."

Despite the pain that he was still in, JD couldn't have been happier. He was almost grateful for the crash, since it gave him the two things he'd been wanting most. He'd finally gotten his hug, and better yet, had finally gotten Dr. Cox.


	13. A New Kind Of First

Title: A New Kind of First  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian, mention of Perry Cox/Jordan Sullivan  
Prompt: 04: First  
Word Count: 462  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none

The first time Dr. Cox met JD he thought the kid resembled a hyper-active puppy, and wrote him off as one of the kids that would leave before finishing their first week. But he was wrong about that, Newbie stuck through everything that was thrown at him.

The first time Dr. Cox realized he'd helped JD out with something other then a medical question he knew he had a problem on his hands. JD had wiggled past his first line of defense, and managed to get something personal out of him.

The first time Dr. Cox dragged JD to the bar with him, he was surprised by just how much he enjoyed having the younger man around for company. Once both JD and he had a few drinks in them, JD wasn't nearly as annoying when he was sober.

Dr. Cox knew he was in too deep when he willingly let JD enter his apartment for the first time. This was uncharted territory, and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. He knew the kid wanted to be friends desperately, wanted Dr. Cox to admit to being his mentor. If he was being honest with himself he could admit, if only to himself, that he did like the kid. Dr. Cox grudgingly allowed JD to get closer to him, even though he still made sure to keep him at arms length.

When the dreams and thoughts first started, he got a little scared. He thought for sure that he was going crazy, there was no way he was lusting after Newbie. But almost guaranteed, he'd wake up at night with JD's name on his lips, and an aching erection in his pants. He was just lucky Jordan was such a deep sleeper, and never woke up while he took care of his problem.

The first time Perry cheated on Jordan with JD, he woke up in the morning and couldn't believe what he'd just done. He'd panicked when he realized the head lying on his chest wasn't Jordan's. He freaked out on the kid, blaming his actions on their night of drinking. After JD was gone, and he'd had time to think, he'd come to realize he did want to be with JD, being with Jordan was more for show now then anything else, they were only together because of Jack. So he started his first ever relationship with a man.

The first time he said 'I love you', he knew it was right, that this moment was a long time in coming, stemming from his very first meeting with the potential doctor. There were going to be more firsts for the two of them, but this time, he'd be better prepared, ready to accept whatever was coming at them.


	14. Final Regrets

Title: Final Regrets  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 05: Last  
Word Count: 1206  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: angst, major character death  
Spoilers: none

It had been raining for the last three days straight. It was raining now, and Perry didn't even care how drenched he was getting. The collar of his trench coat was pulled up, his hands stuffed into his pockets, entire body hunched into the coat. He'd been standing in the same spot for almost three hours now. Carla, Turk, even Kelso, had tried to get him to leave hours ago, but he had refused, demanding he be left alone. His eyes read the words carved on the stone again and again.

John 'JD' Dorian  
Beloved Friend  
1975-2007

Perry couldn't even tell if it was just the rain running down his face anymore, the tears had long ago mixed in with the rain water. The truth hadn't truly sunk in yet, he was still partially in shock. JD couldn't really be gone, couldn't really be dead. But he was, he knew JD's body had been in the casket as they lowered it into the ground.

He just didn't want to believe it, he couldn't be gone, not with the way things ended between them. Especially because of the way things ended. He never got his chance to make things up to him. JD died thinking Perry didn't care about him, didn't love him. It couldn't end like this, the last things he'd said to him were horrible, and couldn't have been further from the truth. And now JD would never know different, would never be able to listen to the truth, to hear the real reason he'd been absent for over a week.

Their argument was still fresh in his mind, he'd probably remember that day for the rest of his life. JD had made it a point to corner him at work, in the on-call room, just to make sure he couldn't get away. He'd accused Perry of avoiding him, trying on purpose to spend as little time with him as possible when he wasn't at the hospital. Which was true, but not for the reasons that JD obviously thought. Their one year anniversary was coming up in just under a month, and Perry actually wanted to do something special for JD, to prove just how much he really did care. So for the last week he'd spent all his free time planning, and had finally decided on a cruise. All he had left to do was go see the travel agent one last time tonight before the plans would be finalized.

He'd tried to explain this to JD without ruining any surprises, but couldn't come up with any excuses that sounded convincing. He could tell that JD didn't believe him, but wanted badly enough to stay together that he was willing to give Perry another chance. And this was when things went horribly wrong. JD had asked him to come to dinner with him that night. Perry can still see the look in JD's eyes when he refused, claiming he had something else he needed to do. He can still hear JD's timid, sorrow filled voice ask, "You don't care about me anymore, do you?"

And this, this was the exact moment he wrecked everything, set in motion everything that contributed to JD's death. "Well boo hoo Michelle, did you finally realize that the world doesn't revolve around you? I don't need to spend my every waking minute with you, you're not that important Pricilla. Just get Gandhi to take you out if you're so desperate to show off that new dress and sandal combo you spent so much money on."

He'll never, for as long as he lives, forget the look on JD's face. That horrible crushed, kicked puppy look. It was like his whole face just crumpled, he went pale, and his eyes were the worst. Those normally laughing blue eyes were so filled with pain, the sparkle was completely wiped out.

JD had backed up rapidly, trying to make a quick getaway, but he wasn't fast enough. He wasn't able to flee before Perry could see the tears start to fall, a choked off sob working its way out of his throat. Then he was gone, and that was the last time Perry would ever see him alive.

He got the phone call almost an hour later, from a frantic, sobbing Carla, he could hear Turk crying in the background. There had been an accident, JD's scooter had been hit by a truck. It looked like JD apparently hadn't seen the light go red, and the driver of the truck hadn't been able to stop in time. The paramedics said he died instantly, from a broken neck. They say he wouldn't have even felt any pain. But that wasn't true, was it? He'd already been in pain before the crash, and it was all his fault.

Perry knew right away that it was his fault. If he hadn't said those things, hadn't neglected JD for over a week everything would be fine right now. JD wouldn't have left crying, wouldn't have been out on the streets, wouldn't have been so distracted, so blinded by tears, that he wasn't seeing what was going on. If he had just admitted to JD what he was doing, he wouldn't be standing here right now, staring at his lover's grave.

This wasn't supposed to happen. With their age difference it should have been Perry who died first, not his younger more energetic partner. But here he was, still in a state of disbelief, still thinking he'd be able to go home and JD'd be there, and he'd be able to hold him and kiss him, and just be with him. But he'd never be able to do those things again.

Perry didn't believe in God, but just this once, he was going to trust in there being a heaven, or at least that there'd be somewhere better off that JD was going. Now there was only one more thing that Perry could do for JD. He could apologize, and he could only hope that wherever JD was he could hear him, and might be able to forgive Perry, even though he'd never forgive himself. "I'm sorry JD, I never meant for this to happen, I'm so very, very sorry. I just want you to know something. You are important, you're the most important thing in my life. Not once, have I ever regretted being with you. Not once, did I ever stop loving you. And I'm sorry I couldn't show you that love more often, so that maybe you would have had more confidence in us, so you'd still be here…" 

Perry fell to his knees, a shaking hand reaching out to trace the name on the headstone. "Still be here with me, instead of lying cold and lifeless in the ground. I need you JD, I always will, and I'm always going to love you, and I wish you hadn't doubted that, doubted me." Perry slammed his fist into the stone, not even registering the pain that shot up his arm. "I'm going to miss you so much, and I promise that I'll never forget you, even when I'm old and grey and can't remember anything else, I'll always remember you. I love you John."


	15. The Color Of Love

Title: The Color Of Death  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 10: Red  
Word Count: 437  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: angst, major character death  
Spoilers: none

The blood was everywhere, there was so much of it. The water in the sink wasn't even pink, it was red, that's how much was rinsing off his arms and hands, disappearing down the drain.

Perry knew he was still in shock, that he should be having more of a reaction, considering whose blood was staining his clothes and skin. But he couldn't let it get to him, not right now, right here where other people could see him. He'd fall apart later, when there was no one around to watch him. He was just barely holding on though, when it finally hit him, the grief was going to hit him hard. He was already starting to shake, the tremors had started in his hands and have made their way up to the point where his whole body was trembling slightly.

If he closed his eyes, Perry could see it happening over and over, the events were on a repeating loop in his mind. He can still see Newbie's wide terrified eyes, hear the loud crack, can smell the burned gun powder. And worst of all, he can still see the red stain blossoming across JD's chest, hear the pain filled surprise in his voice, feel the warmth of the blood as it poured from the wound.

The blood was cold and dried now, its owner no longer needing the precious fluid. His shaking started in earnest then, as realization finally set in. JD was dead, the victim of an angry husband who had recently lost his wife. From what little Perry heard of their conversation, JD didn't even know the guy, or his wife, but that hadn't mattered to JD's killer, any doctor probably would have served his purpose. But he'd found his lover, and taken his anger out on the innocent kid.

And now JD was down in the morgue, and this guy was nice and safe in police custody. Perry had tried, God had he ever tried, but the shot had been too accurate, it had hit his heart, there had been nothing Perry could do other then watch the man he loved bleed to death in his arms. Watch as that familiar light left his eyes, and he drew his last shaky breath.

Perry kept scrubbing, long after the blood had been washed away, breathing harshly. He didn't even notice that the reason his vision kept swimming in and out of focus was because of the tears streaming down his face. That was how they found him over an hour later, leaning over the sink, his skin rubbed raw, face wet with tears.


	16. Accidental Encounters

Title: Accidental Encounters  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 13: Black  
Word Count: 906  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none

JD had been avoiding Perry all day, if not for the last two days. They had been working opposite shifts lately, not even able to spend any time together in bed. Today was the first day they would actually be working together. But JD was nowhere to be found. He hadn't seen him once yet, and all of Perry's pages were being ignored and unanswered.

He wasn't worried, really he wasn't, he was just curious, that was all. That was why Perry was trying to hunt the younger man down, give him no choice but to talk to him. Dr. Cox finally spotted him, heading into the men's room on the fourth floor. He waited a minute and then followed him in, taking a quick look around to see if there was anyone else in the bathroom. Finding it to be otherwise empty, Perry locked the door behind him, not wanting to be interrupted.

Perry leaned against the door casually, arms crossed over his chest, waiting. He heard the toilet flush, and a moment later Newbie exited the stall, heading to the sinks. JD didn't notice him standing in the doorway. Perry could see JD's reflection in the mirror, and something about it made him frown. He couldn't be sure, since the lighting in here was pretty dim, it was apparently too much to ask for the Janitor to change a couple of light bulbs. But there was definitely something off about his face. He whistled sharply, his suspicions confirmed when JD jumped and turned his head to the side enough to hide his right side.

Perry's eyes narrowed, his anger starting to rise. He might have snapped more then he'd originally intended, but he wanted to know what was going on. "Newbie! Look at me. Turn around and look at me Anabella, right now!"

He saw JD flinch, and slowly, reluctantly, the younger man turned around to face him. He saw immediately why JD hadn't come to see him today. His right eye had a large black and purple bruise beneath it. If he was mad before it was nothing compared to the spike his anger took at seeing his lover's battered face. Perry stalked over to stand right in front of him, one hand reaching out to touch the mark. JD shrank back from the touch with a hastily concealed hiss of pain. He managed to grind out through clenched teeth, "Who hit you?"

"Well, um, you see, I was just…and the Janitor was just…um."

The white flash of rage that swept through him wasn't completely unexpected. No one was allowed to torment Newbie except him, and no one should especially be hitting him. "The Janitor hit you?" He need to get this clarified before he went to kill someone.

A hesitant nod, followed by JD opening his mouth to say something but Perry got there first. "God damn Jumpsuit, I'm going to take that mop of his and shove it so far up his ass that he's-"

JD's next sudden outburst startled Dr. Cox into silence, he almost never got cut off during the beginning of a good rant. "See! This is exactly why I didn't want you to find out, 'cause you'd overreact. It was an accident, he didn't mean to do it." At the incredulous look on Perry's face he added, "I know usually that all he seems to live for is to torture me, but this time he really didn't mean it. It was more my fault then his anyway. He was mopping just around a corner that I came running down, and I ran right into the handle. The Janitor actually seemed kind of sorry, went to get me an ice pack and everything. Of course he came back and stuffed my entire head in a bucket of ice, but the thought was there."

"So I don't get to go teach Lurch a lesson, since you're too absent minded to watch where you're going?"

"Basically." He sounded a little sheepish about it.

"Just what was so important that you had to go running through the halls anyways? It couldn't have been a patient coding because you waited around after it happened for the ice."

There was a definite blush on his cheeks, and he started fidgeting, embarrassed. "Well, me and Turk were supposed to be playing some basketball, I've been training really hard, 'cause I want to try out new moves, but anyways. Um…I heard that you were outside at the time, and I wanted to impress you with my skills, but we both know how that turned out. JD poked his face at this, wincing at the contact.

Perry was oddly touched by this, and cursed his suddenly squishy heart. He was here yesterday when JD was on shift, if only for a few minutes, to hand Kelso the paperwork he'd been putting off. No matter how disgusting he found the thought, JD's attempt to impress him was cute.

On impulse he closed the distance between them, leaning in to press their lips together in a kiss. When he finally pulled back, JD's face was flushed. "While I appreciate the sentiment, try to be more careful next time. You're way too pretty to pull off looking good with a black eye. How about we celebrate our evening off together in bed, and we'll try out a few new moves of my own, if you know what I mean."


	17. Half Year Anniversary

Title: Half Year Anniversary  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 24: Coffee Mug  
Word Count: 589  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none

Dr. Cox spotted the package the moment he walked through the door. The small, seemingly innocent box, sat atop the coffee table, its true purpose there given away by the little blue bow perched on top. Perry groaned mentally, even though he'd been expecting something like this, to have the evidence in front of him was something else altogether. He should have known better, should have known JD would do something like this.

It was their six month anniversary, a date he wouldn't have even been aware of if it hadn't been for JD's constant reminding. He'd thought he'd made it crystal clear that he didn't want any sort of celebrating done, didn't even really want to acknowledge the day any further then making sure he came home in time for dinner.

Perry approached the coffee table slowly, almost reluctantly. He glanced around the room before picking up the box, wondering briefly why he hadn't been ambushed by Newbie yet. But of course, JD wasn't going to appear until after he'd opened the gift, most likely to avoid an argument. Perry picked up the box, it had a bit of weight to it, and so his initial guess of some sort of girlish jewelry was squashed. Relief swept through him, accompanied by the smallest amount of disappointment. He wouldn't have minded a new watch, had in fact, been hinting at such a gift for his birthday next month.

He was curious now. What had Newbie given him? Pulling the top off the box, Perry stared down at its contents, blinking rapidly. It was a mug, just a simple black coffee mug. But wait, he could just see the edges of writing on the other side. Plucking the mug from the box, he shifted it in his hand until he could make out the words.

His lips twitched as he took in the white lettering. He heard shuffling coming from the hallway, and turned towards the noise. Standing framed in the doorway was a nervous looking JD, and before Perry could say anything, the younger man's explanation tumbled out of his mouth. "I know you said I wasn't supposed to buy you a present, but I saw this and I thought it fit, that it was so you, that I just had to get it, so I hope you're not mad." JD stopped his rambling when he caught sight of the grin that was crossing his lover's face.

Perry looked down at the mug again, chucking as he once again read the statement printed across it. He put the mug carefully down on the table, before beckoning JD forward. Reassured by Perry's smile, JD came eagerly, stopping just before him. He reached out the remaining distance, pulling the unresisting young man into his arms. "Newbie, I know I might have said no gifts, but this, this one was just perfect. Thank you."

He pulled JD close enough to seal their mouths together, Perry trying to convey through his kiss how thankful he really was, how much he really did love the gift. The whole time they stayed locked together, Perry could see the mug from the corner of his eye, the message still amusing. 'If I wanted your monkey brained opinion, I'd ask for it.' Despite the distraction facing him, Perry was vaguely wondering whether he'd be able to use the line anytime soon. Knowing JD, it wouldn't be long, and he was looking forward to the moment. Until then, he was going to enjoy having his coffee tomorrow morning.


	18. Baby Steps

Title: Baby Steps  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 27: Patience  
Word Count: 477  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none

Dr. Perry Cox was not the most patient of men, and that might just be the understatement of the century. Therefore, it came as a bit of a shock to everyone at Sacred Heart when they first heard he'd started sleeping with JD. For the most part, people didn't believe it, but slowly, they started seeing signs that the rumor had to actually be truth. The two doctors would be seen together much more often, the elder seemingly enjoying the younger's company. There was less tension when JD was around; it seemed to everyone that Dr. Cox was finally happy about something.

The most profound change however, the real cincher that their relationship was actually real, was the fact that there was a lot less yelling, a lot less mocking tones and insults. Sure, they were still there, but there was no real malice in the words any longer. And this change, more then anything else, was what confused people the most. The fact that Perry Cox was sleeping with someone so many years his junior was understandable, even believable; there were whispers of a mid-life crisis. Even the fact that JD was a man most people could get past, who were they to judge what two grown men did behind closed doors. Besides, those who knew Jordan could sympathize and understand why he might be scared off of women, and JD's preference came as no surprise due to his character and obvious man-crush on Dr. Cox.

No, it was the lack of yelling that had people the most confused. How was it possible that Dr. Cox's favorite source of a human punching bag could suddenly be cut off, and after several months, still not have a replacement. Bets were being taken as to when he was going to explode, but he had yet to even shout properly at Nervous Guy lately. Doug seemed to be under the impression that Dr. Cox was only biding his time, and as a result had started to avoid him more then usual.

Perry Cox might not have been the most patient man in the world, but even he knows when things have to be taken slowly, when you have to take baby steps. His relationship with JD is proof of that. No matter how willing JD'd been to have Perry kiss him, they'd gotten into bed at the pace of a slow crawl. That boy was skittish, not wanting a repeat of the whole Elliot problem. So Perry had had to exercise some patience, it very nearly drove him crazy, but in the end he'd managed to get JD into his bed. He'd found that for once in his life, being patient had actually paid off, and that maybe, just maybe, it was worth being patient once in a while, if it led to things as good as having JD.


	19. Dress Up

Title: Dress Up   
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 12: White

Word Count: 841  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none

It was an off-hand comment from a patient that made Perry pause on his way out of their room. He didn't think the woman knew just what her words would mean to him, that they would lead to the slow death of one very annoying doctor. "The other doctor that was in here earlier, he doesn't manage to pull off as smooth an exit with the coat as you do. You make it look all dramatic; he just looks like a kid playing dress up."

He'd bit off some sort of sarcastic reply before making his exit, but his irritation level was so high that he couldn't even remember what he'd said. Dr. Cox stalked down the hallways, on the hunt for the only man in the hospital a patient would refer to as a kid. He finally spotted a flash of white and spiky hair swirling around the corner in front of him, leading into the cafeteria. He caught up to his target quickly, moving in behind him, placing one hand on the kid's shoulder. Squeezing maybe a little harder then was necessary Dr. Cox whispered into his ear, "We need to have a little chat Shelly."

Dr. Cox moved in front of JD, expecting the younger doctor to follow. Glancing back, he frowned when he realized JD was just standing there, frozen in shock, eyes almost comically large. Perry sighed, and raising his voice enough to be heard, called out, "Newbie! Come!"

JD snapped out of his daze, scurrying after him like an obedient puppy. Perry stomped over to an empty examination room, waiting for JD to enter after him before slamming the door shut. A moment later there was another thud as Perry pinned the other man to the wall with a shove that was harsher then he'd intended. He swooped down, mouth mere centimeters from JD's ear, and snarled. "What did I tell you about wearing the lab coat?"

JD sucked in a quick breath at the tone in the older man's voice. A hand curled into a fist, tangling in the front of the coat JD was wearing. He shook Newbie roughly, hearing the thud as his head was knocked lightly against the wall. "Well, are you going to answer me, or just stare at me with that blank look Trisha?"

"Um…you said-" JD stopped, clearing his throat. Embarrassed that his voice had sounded so high pitched, he tried again. "You said I wasn't supposed to have the coat on unless…unless it was the only thing I had on and you were fucking me into the mattress while I'm wearing it." JD blushed hotly as he finished, spitting the last of the sentence out quickly.

Perry gave a satisfied smirk, releasing JD, who sighed in relief. His relief was short lived however, as Perry slipped one arm behind JD's back, pulling him close, crushing their bodies together. "That's right Nicole. And we are most definitely not in my apartment, so you're breaking the rules. So tell me, even though I'm sure I'll regret asking, but why are you wearing the lab coat while in the hospital?"

JD's blush deepened, spreading from his cheeks to his ears and across the bridge of his nose. "Well, um, you see. It's really a funny story, um…"

Perry groaned mentally, deciding the kid needed a little push. "Honesty would be a good thing right now."

JD's stammering stopped suddenly, replaced by an unnatural silence instead. JD glanced up at Perry from under his lashes. Reluctantly, he spoke. "I just wanted to wear it to be more like you." He frowned, eyes sliding closed, unable to look at Perry during his admission. "When I'm wearing it, I feel like I'm a better doctor, that my confidence is way higher. It feels like I can't do anything wrong while in the lab coat. I know it's stupid."

Perry stayed quiet for a moment, recognizing this as one of those times his sarcastic mouth wouldn't help things. "You're right, it is stupid." JD's eyes flew open at the comment, hurt briefly flashing in them. Perry continued before JD could say anything. "It's stupid because nothing can make you a better doctor. In case you've failed to notice, it has been a very long time since you've asked me for help with a patient. You do have confidence JD, and you don't need a coat to try and prove it to yourself."

Perry shifted uncomfortably, aware he'd just given out a huge compliment, especially considering who it was coming from. The next thing he knew, JD was pressed even closer to him, his arms full of grateful Newbie, his lips claimed in a rough kiss.

The sound of his pager going off was the next thing he noticed, and he pulled away enough to look at it then curse. Grabbing one last kiss, Perry growled as he was leaving. "Just make sure you bring the coat with you when you come over tonight." Then he was gone with a swish of his own coat.


	20. Life Lessons

Title: Life Lessons  
Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 06: Old

Word Count: 811  
Rating: soft R  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none

Perry groaned as he lowered himself onto the bed, JD's hands helping to guide him down to the pillows. He stretched out carefully, hissing in pain as his back muscles tightened in protest. JD hovered by his side, hands flitting around nervously, fluffing pillows, smoothing blankets, stroking over hair and flesh. He only stopped at Perry's glare, backing off to wring his hands nervously. JD cleared his throat, gaze sweeping over Perry's prone form. "Are you sure you're going to be okay? Is there anything I can get you?"

"Just some ice. Wrapped in a towel." His words were clipped, tight with pain.

JD nodded, rushing off to the kitchen, in nothing but his boxers. Perry flung an arm across his eyes, immensely glad that he didn't blush easily, as he was nearly overcome with embarrassment as it was. He couldn't believe it. Was he really at the point where rough sex on the floor was out of the question? It was ridiculous that he'd thrown his back out trying to keep up with his younger lover. "But damn, it had been good while it lasted."

They had started out with every intention of making it to the bedroom. However one thing led to another, and soon Perry had found himself pounding into JD's tight passage right on the living room floor. It had been so hot, JD writhing and clutching at him, every thrust making the kid scream as he'd hit his prostate. Then Perry had made a mistake. The position they had been in was hard on his knees, so he'd tried to shift into a more comfortable spot. But he'd twisted wrong, and that one wrong move was all it took. The next moment he was shouting in agony, as his back stiffened up. He'd jerked backwards, sliding out of JD, before half collapsing, bracing himself on his forearms.

JD had panicked at first, not sure what was going on. Perry had managed to get the point across to him through gritted teeth. JD had thrown on his discarded boxers first, out of habit. He'd helped him get upright, limping over to the bedroom. And now here he was, laid up until he could force himself to get up and move through the pain. Perry came to a rather horrible realization right then. A rather depressing conclusion that he hoped wasn't true, but knew it was. This was it, life as he knew it would never be the same again.

JD came back into the room at that point, Perry could hear his nervous shuffling. He threw the arm slung over his eyes out to the side, beckoning for the ice pack. JD placed the bundle of ice into his hand without comment. Perry wedged it under his lower back, hissing at the chill against his bare skin. He sighed in relief as the numbness started to spread, holding the ache at bay. Perry felt the urge to share his newfound discovery with JD, he might as well share in his misery. "Well, its official Sarah, this only confirms my worst fears."

JD frowned, his worry seeping back in, taking in the obvious dismay in his lover's voice. "What worst fear? What's official?"

"I'm old JD. I'm turning into an old man." He sounded disgusted by the fact.

JD knew he was being serious, but the situation was now tainted with a sense of humor, he had to try to stifle the laughter that wanted to leak out. He couldn't help the response that slipped out of his mouth though. "You don't have to be so melodramatic. You're not that old. Geez, I thought the world was coming to an end there for a bit with the way you were acting. So what if we can't have sex on the floor. My back's gonna be sore tomorrow too, so are you calling me old as well?"

Perry glowered at the younger man, seeing how he thought all this was funny. He opened his mouth to start up a good long rant, ready to yell at JD for taking the situation too lightly. Then he realized something else, and promptly shut his mouth again. JD wasn't taking the situation lightly, Perry was the one who was overreacting. His inability to have floor sex was only going to be a problem if he let it be one, JD obviously didn't care. He scowled darkly, still not pleased, but feeling better about the whole thing. "Fine. Maybe I'm not falling apart as much as I think I am. But maybe you should get down here and make what could potentially be the last moments of my life worth it."

JD's smirk and muffled giggle was the only answer Perry got before the bed dipped under another person's weight, and soft lips against his own effectively distracted him from any further thought.


	21. Touch

Title: Touch

Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 32: Touch  
Word Count: 331  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none  
Notes: First in the 'Five Senses' mini-series

For all the complaining Perry did about how much JD was like an eager puppy, he really did appreciate just how much of a tactile person the kid was. He could always count on JD to know just when he needed to be touched, but also when he needed to be left alone. His near constant fights with Jordan about Jack always left him craving the friendly, loving touch of the other man. There was only one thing that bothered Perry about the way JD touched him. Even after six months of being together, he was always hesitant about any sexual aspect of their relationship. He could see the hesitation in every kiss or caress, waiting for some kind of approval before following through. It would take a good chunk of time, and a lot of effort on Perry's part, to get Newbie past the point of thinking about what he was doing.

It didn't seem to matter that it was Perry himself who'd made the first move all those months ago, the kid was under the impression that one day he was going to come to his senses and realize he's been fucking a man. That had been JD's reasoning when he'd finally managed to drag it out of him. Perry had been vaguely insulted at that point. He knew exactly who he was sleeping with, thank you very much; the penis was a dead giveaway.

But still, half the fun was convincing JD that it really was him he wanted, that he wasn't just settling for a substitute for Jordan. The easiest way to convince him was through actions rather then words. Perry could talk until he was blue in the face but it wouldn't matter. The only thing that would get through to JD was his touch. He'd convince JD with sure, firm strokes of hands, through his kisses, and through his own body's reactions. Hopefully, one day his words alone would be enough to keep JD's trust.


	22. Taste

Title: Taste

Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 33: Taste  
Word Count: 215  
Rating: PG-15  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none  
Notes: Second in the 'Five Senses' mini-series

Nearly every time Perry kissed JD, the kid tasted like some sort of candy or surgery substance. Usually, the culprit was chocolate, and the oddest thing was that Perry could rarely ever catch him eating it. After so many failed attempts at finding so much as an empty candy wrapper, Perry was forced to chalk the taste up to something natural. Which, because of his personality, actually suited the overgrown man-child.

Perry almost always enjoyed the taste of the other man, with the exception being after he's drank one of those awful appletini's. The combination of apples and alcohol should never have been put together, Perry would always prefer his scotch.

His mouth wasn't the only place Perry loved to taste. If he had the time, and could get JD to stay still long enough, Perry liked nothing more then to taste every inch of that delicious skin. He could never pin point the reason for his obsession with JD's body, his adoration of the somewhat sweet flavor to that pale flesh.

The sweetness that was strongest at the center of JD's body, where Perry could easily spend hours teasing the younger man with his mouth and hands, before finally getting a taste of JD's very essence, which was probably his favorite taste if all.


	23. Sight

Title: Sight

Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 34: Sight

Word Count: 355  
Rating: PG-15  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none  
Notes: Third in the 'Five Senses' mini-series

Perry had always been a sucker for a pretty face. Jordan and Carla were the most recent, along with a long string of other women in the past. Usually, his choice of women led him to make some bad decisions, since most of the beautiful women he chased were either not interested in him in return, like Carla, or they had claws that they had no problem sinking into him and tearing, like Jordan.

Now, throughout his history of relationships, Perry had stuck solely to women. Sure, the occasional man had managed to catch his interest, but he'd never allowed anything to progress past the few looks he allowed himself to take. But then Newbie had stumbled into his life. Perry won't completely inflate JD's ego by saying he'd the best looking guy he's ever seen, because he knows that isn't true. There was just something about the younger man, the terrified intern he'd first met, that fascinated Perry.

What was true was that JD was almost pretty in his looks, and he didn't act like most brash young doctors did these days. Hell, Perry would probably be the first to say that JD was more girly in his actions and mannerisms then most girls around him. JD's looks, such as they were, weren't what drew Perry to him. His looks had been a good chunk of it, but the sheer determination the kid had to befriend him was what finished him off.

There was one time though, when Perry would crave a certain look, would work hard to put that one particular look on his face. When he had the kid flat on his back, legs wrapped tight around his waist, pounding away into that tight heat, JD would have the most gorgeous look on his face. Normally pale cheeks would be flushed, his head would be thrown back, blue eyes heated and locked on his own. That look was what Perry strove for every time he bedded the kid, because it made all those years wasted on women worth it, to know that he was the one putting that look on JD's face.


	24. Smell

Title: Smell

Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 30: Smell  
Word Count: 253  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none  
Notes: Fourth in the 'Five Senses' mini-series

JD had one of the most distinctive scents Perry had ever encountered. He'd be able to pick the younger man out in a dark room filled with other people using nothing but his nose. No matter how much he made fun of JD for all the girly products he used, he reveled in the scent, taking every opportunity he could to breathe in that special mixture.

The mixed smells of citrus hair products, and the decidedly Hawaiian scent of coconut and pineapple that made up the lotion he spread over his body every morning. While the fruity smells would normally just have aggravated Perry, it seemed to suit the young doctor.

The times he enjoyed JD's scent most though, were while they were sleeping. Usually Perry would wake first in the morning, JD lying on his chest, head tucked under his chin. On mornings like that Perry would always bury his nose in that spiky dark hair, inhaling JD's unique scent. The action never failed to relax him, getting him prepared for yet another long shift at Sacred Heart.

Even when everyone else would stink like the hospital, like disinfectant and God knows what else, JD still smelled the same. Sure, the hospital managed to cover him in its stench, but it was an underlying scent, overpowered by JD's scent, keeping the hospital at bay.

So while he would never stop making fun of JD over the amount of care he takes over his appearance, Perry will always silently appreciate that extra care.


	25. Sound

Title: Sound

Pairing: Perry Cox/John Dorian  
Prompt: 39: Writer's Choice (Sound)  
Word Count: 292  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: none  
Spoilers: none  
Notes: First in the 'Five Senses' mini-series

Perry would never openly admit to another living soul that he loved the sound of JD's voice. While it was true that his incessant talking could get annoying, that was only if you listened to the actual words. Perry usually didn't have a problem ignoring what exactly JD was babbling about, instead letting the words wash over him, taking in the way they sounded. Although there were times when his normally pleasant voice could get quite high pitched, more into Barbie's level, and then the urge to strangle him would have to be beat down.

JD made the most amazing sounds when they were in the bedroom. Every moan and gasp, muttered curse and strangled scream was like music to his ears. Perry took immense pride in the knowledge that he was the one who could wring such sounds from the younger man's throat.

Despite the myriad of sounds JD would produce during sex, Perry had a particular favorite, and surprisingly it wasn't one of the more erotic noises that he found most alluring. What turned him on the most, what was guaranteed to leave him rock hard or push him over the edge, was JD saying his name. It didn't seem like such a big thing, but it was the way his younger lover said it that affected him. It was a breathy little moan, Perry's name rolling off his tongue in succulent tones, voice laden with lust.

That was normally the signal that JD was about to come, the moaning of his name. Despite his claims to the contrary, the two would always cuddle after finishing. It was during these moments JD would put a voice to what easily came in as his favorite sound. The whispered, "I love you."


End file.
